Subsidi Bukan Hak

1 Rakyat patut membayar pada harga sebenar supaya mereka tahu itulah harga yang sepatutnya mereka bayar untuk suatu barangan mahupun perkhidmatan.Jika sebelum ini rakyat hanya tahu apakah kesan subsidi yang kerajaan beri kepada perbelanjaan mereka, sekarang mereka juga patut tahu apakah akibatnya kepada perbelanjaan mereka jika subsidi ditarik balik.

2 Selama ini kerajaan membayar separuh daripada harga barangan itu dan rakyat cuma membayar yang separuh lagi. Disebabkan itu kebanyakan rakyat tidak akan tahu atau tidak mahu ambil tahu berapa harga sebenar sesuatu barangan atau perkhidmatan itu.

3 Selama ini sebahagian besar daripada mereka menyangka itulah harga sebenar yang patut mereka bayar. Inilah kesan buruk subsidi kepada rakyat di mana sebahagian besar daripada mereka tidak pernah ambil kisah tentang harga yang mereka bayar tetapi cepat-cepat membuat tuduhan kepada kerajaan dengan mendakwa bahawa kerajaan tidak prihatin terhadap nasib rakyat.

4 Jika berlaku sedikit kenaikan harga barangan atau perkhidmatan, kerajaan akan cepat-cepat dipersalahkan walhal budi baik kerajaan yang selama ini menanggung sebahagian daripada perbelanjaan mereka tidak pula mendapat ucapan terima kasih.

5 Kita tidak bercakap tentang gaji atau upah. Gaji atau upah itu adalah hak
seseorang yang patut mereka dapat setelah mereka bekerja untuk suatu tempoh waktu tertentu. Tetapi berbeza halnya dengan subsidi. Subsidi hanyalah ihsan kerajaan untuk meringankan bebanan rakyat. Subsidi bukan satu tanggungjawab kerajaan apatah lagi sampai menjadi beban kepadanya.

6 Jika subsidi mahu dikekalkan juga tentulah yang patut menerimanya ialah mereka yang menyokong kerajaan. Alasannya mudah, subsidi menjadi semacam suatu bentuk balas budi kerajaan ke atas mereka yang mendokong dan menyokongnya. Tetapi apa yang berlaku kini semuanya mendapat subsidi termasuk penentang kerajaan.

7 Mereka menentang kerajaan, tetapi mereka mahukan subsidinya. Ini sudah tentu tidak patut.

8 Saya percaya pembangkang sudah bersedia untuk tidak menerima subsidi daripada kerajaan sebab itu mereka mengambil keputusan untuk menentang kerajaan. Apa yang mereka peroleh dari bumi Malaysia hasil dari keamanan dan kestabilan yang dikecapi di sini sudah mencukupi.

9 Mereka yang menyokong pembangkang sudah bersedia untuk membebaskan diri daripada kongkongan kerajaan terutama subsidinya. Mereka tentu tidak mahu dimalukan secara berterusan dengan sebelah tangan menuding terus kepada kerajaan sedangkan sebelah tangan lagi sedang mengira-ngira berapa subsidi yang masih mereka terima.

Hakcipta Abd Bashid Harun

Single? What's WRONG with Him?

Craig Harper


One of the many interesting things about being a life-long, single male in his early forties is people's reactions to that single-ness (yep, a word). Everyone has an opinion on it. Depending on the person's thinking, it can place me anywhere on the scale from 'complete social outcast', to 'coolest bloke on earth' and 'luckiest man alive'. And elicit responses ranging from pity and ridicule, to envy and admiration. Or in the case of my mother, complete devastation. My darling mum (mom) sees me essentially as a means to a grandchild and to be honest, I have been a bitter disappointment. Sure, she wants me happily married, but what she really wants... is that kid!! And yes, she lets me know it.

I love the mentality that says "single at that age, must be something wrong with him!"
Yep, had plenty of that.
"He's how old?.. and no woman, must have a lot of issues."
"Poor thing."
Interesting psychology that. Yet, very common.

It's like they have a picture in their mind of me sitting at home every night in my underwear, in a room lit by candles, eating meatloaf flavoured ice-cream from a paper plate, with my pet rat Eugene on my shoulder, my feet in one of those foot spas, a little 'Enya' playing in the background and some strategically placed cushions with images of my ex-girlfriends embroidered on them, lying around the room.
That's okay right?
If I had said tuna flavoured ice-cream, now that woulda been weird.
Waddya mean the cushion thing is creepy?
Oh well.

We all know that married people have no issues and that if, per chance, they do enter into their matrimonial journey with a few problems, the marriage ceremony will alleviate those instantly and forever. Great how that works isn't it?

What people think about me being single doesn't bother me at all, but it does interest me. For some bizarre reason, my single-ness is fascinating to some. I personally don't think it's interesting at all, but you would be shocked by the number of people who want to interrogate me regarding my 'lack of wife' status, in an attempt to discover what's wrong with me. "There's gotta be something, it's not normal" someone told me not too long ago. I wonder if I wasn't single, whether people would say "so Craig, why are you married?"

Apparently, as a Personal Development speaker and writer I should be married. It's a rule. People have suggested that my career would benefit from my extrication from the world of single-dom. Doesn't matter if I'm happily married or not, as long as I'm married.

A woman said to me recently, "I thought someone as evolved as you, would have found your soul-mate long ago." I actually laughed out loud at her. "Clearly, I have a way to go", was my response. Her friend (in the same conversation) suggested that I was probably gay but didn't know it, or want to admit it. "Oh, I'm pretty sure I'm not", I shared. "You think you're sure", she said. "All the pretty girls you meet, and not one wife?" I didn't realise 'pretty' was the determinant for a life partner. Missed that memo. Okay, note to self: if she's hot, marry her. There's my big mistake; stupidly, I've been looking beyond appearance. Idiot.

Apparently, my single-ness is some kind of indicator of dysfunction. That's it, I'm gettin' married this week. That'll fix me. Weirdo that I am.

I would never have thought to write an article on this topic, but some people seem to be fascinated by the whole single verses married discussion and in my little world, the conversation seems regularly to be directed back towards me. Of course there is no wrong or right, only opinions, so that's what I'm sharing. People often want to hear my thoughts on marriage because I'm single. Don't know why.
"Do you have marriage issues", I got asked last week. No, I love the idea of marriage and maybe I will be happily married one day, but if I don't get married, that's cool too. What I do have a problem with is, marrying someone who I'm not desperately, hopelessly in love with; marriage for the sake of not being single - seen it a million times.

For some people it's like...
"Yep, he (she) ticks all the right boxes, definitely a candidate. Let's see, money - check, good family - check, career - check, looks - check... marriage it is"
"Er, yeh but I don't really love him."
"Stop being unrealistic, your thirty four, your biological clock is racing, you won't do any better."

Over the years I have had many people say to me, "Hmm, you'd be a good catch... you need to meet my sister/daughter/cousin/girlfriend!" And their reason for saying that I'm a 'catch' is not because of my values, personality, integrity or all-round good-bloke-ness (a word), it's because they see me as being moderately successful and financially secure. A safe bet.
I find that sad.
"Yes, he ticks enough boxes, put him on the list Sally."

To me, some people seem to be more in love with the 'idea' of marriage than the actual person they're marrying or are married to. I see this as a catastrophe in waiting. It's also apparent that some people are so petrified of being single, that finding their 'soul mate' gets compromised down to "is he or she breathing? Wouldn't have been my first (or tenth) choice but hey, I have limited options, so giddyup cowboy(girl), get me that ring."

I have had literally thousands of conversations over the last three hundred years (you know I'm immortal right?) with people who are miserable in their marriage, yet amazingly, do nothing to fix it, or change the situation. For many people, marriage is something to be endured, tolerated even and of course for others, it's the best thing that will ever happen to them.

Okay, here are some random thoughts on the matter. Feel free to correct me or teach me a lesson - I am just a single bloke...

1. I am not against marriage in any way. Most of my friends are married and I know it can be an incredible part of the human experience. Given the opportunity with the right person, I would love to share my life with someone but, I'd rather be single forever, than married for the sake of it. And yep, I've been close a few times.

2. I don't believe that people need to be married to be fulfilled, functional, balanced or happy; those things are not dependant on marital status. You don't need to be a researcher to discover that marriage doesn't (automatically) equal happiness, just open your eyes. People seem to struggle with the thought of me being single and happy. They think I'm lying. It bothers them.
"You're not really happy, you only think you are... you're just trying to convince yourself."
"Er, okay. I didn't realise how miserable I am - thanks".

3. Some people are so terrified of being alone that they will compromise themselves to the point of actually losing their identity. "I'll be whatever you want me to be.." You've seen it. Maybe you've been it. Misery and frustration is always the result. It's important (for many reasons) that we learn to be comfortable and secure on our own before we launch into a life partnership.

4. A person who really gets to know themself and is truly comfortable with their own company, will be more attractive to a potential partner.

5. Too many people enter into marriage wearing those rose coloured glasses, only to have them ripped off by about day three. They spend a year planning how to have a great wedding and zero time planning how to have a great marriage.

6. People who have that sense of urgency to get married are less likely to find marital bliss and less likely to appeal to a potential partner. Note to all wanna-be brides and grooms: Desperation - not attractive.

7. While I'm open to the idea of marriage, and I would love a little Craig or Craigette one day, I love my life right now and I gotta say, singledom... not as horrible as some would have you believe!!!

Okay, now that I've opened that can of worms, I'll let you play with them.
I'm off to finish my meatloaf ice-cream and revel in my dysfunction.
Hey, where's Eugene gone?

Yaasin 9 To Sell

Give A Heart Necklace This Holiday

THE holiday is almost here and you know what that means! That means that it is time to start thinking about getting her that perfect necklace. All women fall over themselves to get a heart necklace. The heart shape is the universal symbol of love and this holiday season is the season for you to get the love of your life her very own heart shaped necklace.

You have a few different choices, many actually. It seems like the heart necklace is getting more and more creative all of the time. Who knew that there were so many things to be done with a simple heart design? It is amazing what these jewelers come up with and they are all so gorgeous.

There are a multitude of gem choices for you to choose from as well as metals. You can choose silver, platinum or gold. I have even seen some magnificent copper heart necklaces out there in stores. Of course the two top sellers as far as gems go are rubies and diamonds but that does not mean you cannot choose a different stone. If the love of your life loves aquamarines or emeralds then choose them, whatever will make her the happiest of all is the way to go.
There are also a few different places that you can go to buy your heart necklace. There are the typical offline stores that are a favorite among many and there are the stores online. When it comes to online shopping you can choose a retailer, a wholesaler or even an auction site. Each of these types of stores have their own pros and cons. My advice is to check out all of you options in order to see where you can get the best price on the most gorgeous heart shaped necklaces. Chances are you will find the best deals online so start there.

Wedding Official Business

MARRIAGE is many things. They're fun, expensive and require a lot of planning, but a wedding is also first a legal matter. And as such, there are steps the couple must preform so that the union is recognizable in the eyes of the law. They'll need a wedding license, but before that, the bride must make an important decision – to except her future husband's surname or continue to use her maiden name. You'd think that a name was just a name and changing it wouldn't be such a big deal, but it really is. During previous generations whether or not a woman changed her last name was something that wasn't given a second thought. The woman took her husband's name and that was that. But recently, women have challenged this tradition. There is no law that says a woman's last name must change in marriage, so really this decision is a matter of personal choice. For those women who go a head and change their last names, the process to change isn't hard, but it can take time. Besides making the changes with the federal Social Security Administration, which thats where it all begins, a woman must also change the name on all her certificates, her credit card accounts, her bank and all financial/insurance related documents, utilities bills, property deeds, clubs at which she is part of and at her work – not only for Human Resource and erning tax purposes, but so that a new email address and new business info can be created. And while you're going through the process of changing your name, you might want to consider changing your address, too. You've just got to double-check the timing. If it dont turn out right, you can take a change of address kit easily enough and complete this when you come back from the honeymoon. It's not really necessary to begin the process of changing your name until about 2 weeks before your wedding, so do whatever makes most sense. One other aspect of the name change process that requires careful timing is planning your honeymoon. You might be better off making your reservations using your maiden name if you won't have official identification (or an updated passport) with your new name ready before you leave. You don't have to experience any unnecessary delays. When dealing with the marriage license, be sure to check the requirements in your state of residence ahead of time. Each state will vary with some states requiring one or more witnesses and others requiring blood tests and/or physical exams, and others requiring something else such as a waiting period. Regardless of the state, you are going to pay for a marriage license. Costs will range from a low of $25 to a high of $100 or more. You'll both need to be present and you'll likely need to bring a birth certificate and proper identification. Then breathe a sigh of relief, because you're almost there!

Don't Waste Your Time - Use it Wisely

By: Andrew Grant

DO you waste time? Are you lazy and indolent or are you continuously on the go, using every minute to the maximum?
If you are in the first category, there are a lot of very obvious things you can do to improve, but in this article I want to concentrate on those of us who are already using our time constructively and examine how you can squeeze even more from your day.
You may think that your life is so full that this is impossible, but I recently ran an inventory of how I used my time and realised that there was still some room for improvement. Here's what I discovered.
Timespace #1 – For years I avoided doing any kind of exercise. It was pretty easy for me, I had been skinny all my life and even though I wasn't too fit, I was still the right weight. As I got older, though I realised that I had to take my body a bit more seriously.
Since then I have become a moderate, regular exerciser; I now go running for half an hour every second day and visit the gym three times a week. No problem there; I get satisfaction from using my time well and I appreciate the results.
However, I calculated that I am spending about five hours per week doing great things for my body, but nothing for my mind. So now when I'm pounding the streets or straining at the weights, I use the opportunity to listen to self development programs on my I-Pod, to concentrate on goal visualization, to practice affirmations or just focus on being grateful for all the good things in my life. And there's a bonus too; because the blood is racing through my veins, my brain is more alert and better prepared to learn and grow.
Timespace #2 – I drive a lot. My business requires a good deal of travel and most of it is done in the car. I used to listen to music on the radio or go into an almost trance-like ‘auto pilot' mode, usually to escape the tedium of long distance driving.
Now, though, I put a self development CD in the player, or a language course, or again, I use the time to practice visualizations and affirmations. The privacy of your little tin box allows you to shout, sing, laugh or mumble. Who cares? You are on your own. It's your space.
Timespace #3 – Finally, this one is not so much about finding extra time as making better use of the time I thought I was using wisely. My personal time audit showed me that I was wasting a whole hour, sometimes more, at the beginning of the day catching up on the overnight e-mail load and then planning what I was going to do for the rest of the day.
I prided myself on being an efficient time warrior, but I now realise, that I was missing one of the biggest mistakes of all. So how did I fix that? Simple. I changed two things. Firstly, I now do my planning, the night before, by taking ten minutes, near to the end of the evening and writing down everything I want to achieve the next day. The bonus here is that overnight, my mind works on the issues even while I sleep, so by the time I get started next day, I am far better prepared.
Secondly, I leave my e-mail inbox until lunchtime. I spend the morning getting through the goals I assigned the night before and then just before I take a break for lunch, I race through my inbox. That way, I find I already feel good about what I've done so far in the day, my mind is much more focused and I don't get distracted.
So no matter how efficient you think you are, take a look again at your day and I'll bet you can find some extra layers of time, you never knew you had. Good hunting.

The Importance Of Perfume

THE importance of perfume has been realized a very long time ago. Its birth can be dated back to the early Egyptians era when it was being used for religious ceremonies and love making preparations. Nowadays, perfumes have virtually become a bare essential in our society and they are being used in all walks of life. The use of perfumes adds zing to the occasions as they are considered to be one of the most luxurious and sensuous accessories in the modern society. When it comes to the use of perfume as an essential part of body accessories, they are numerous brands available in the market that one can choose from. However, the choice of a particular brand largely depends on the social stratum of a person. These days, the use of designers` fragrance is a rage in the market and everyone wants to use a specific brand of fragrance which is not only well-known but also stands out in terms of smell.
Some facts about perfumes:
Generally, the fragrance of perfumes last longer for people who have an oily skin. This is because their oily skin has more natural moisture content that holds the fragrance. On the other hand, dry skin has less natural moisture content and, hence it fails to hold the fragrance for a longer period of time. Admired perfumes for men range from citrus, spicy, woodsy, leathery and while they are designed in a controlled environment, the same for the women are designed for primal senses with the combination of subtleness and refinement. Perfumes for women can be found in different wonderful themes such as floral like roses, jasmine, fruity like citrus or orange blossoms, oriental like mix of spices, amber and so on. Perfumes are worn by both men and women to display their individual personality. However, what smells wonderful on your friend might not suit your body temperament. Hence, while buying a designer perfume, bear the following dos and don`ts in mind:
How to try:
When you want to try new fragrance for its chemical reaction, try it on your body and not on an object, say on the perfume bottle cap or a piece of cardboard. If you experience any irritation on your skin, take it for granted that the chemical components of the fragrance are not suitable for your skin tone and texture and its use could be harmful for you.
No two-timing, please:
Buyers are often found to be trying different perfume fragrances at the same time. Do not use three or four fragrances at a time as it affects your sensory reflections leading to confusion relating to the choice of a particular fragrance. So, the chances are you will fail to pick that perfect perfume which would be suitable for your skin tone.
Say No to fake & cheap:
Do not go for fake and cheap designer perfume fragrances merely for the sake of saving a few pennies. What seems like a saving could cost you dearly in the long-run. Fake and cheap fragrances can be extremely detrimental to your skin tone and texture as they are not made up of quality and standard components of fragrance. The best way to choose the perfect perfume is sniff coffee beans to clear and refresh your smelling power.
Samples:
Always try to use sample perfume bottles if it is possible for you to get one. They are extremely ideal for you to understand the ultimate effect on your body. Incase you find them suitable or otherwise, you are in a situation to make a choice accordingly.
Designer perfume outlet:
The best way and place to buy a perfume is to drop at a designer perfume outlet where you can pick your favorite designer perfumes. It helps you to take the right decision as you have a wide-range of choices to pick from. Besides, perfumes purchased from a designer perfume outlet tend to live up to your expectation. They could cost you a bit more, but you can feel the difference as you impress people with the unique smell. This is when you feel that your spending is worth it. This article is under GNU FDL license and can be distributed without any previous authorization from the author. However the author's name and all the URLs (links) mentioned in the article and biography must be kept

Teen & Parent Chat: 6 Ways To Communicate Clearly With Your Teen

By: Christine McGogy

Hi Parents,

How would you like to have a closer relationship with your teen again? Your ability to communicate effectively with your teen is one of the most precious skills you can develop to achieve this goal. When we think of communication, we tend to think only of the way we can express ourselves. While that is certainly important, listening is the single most crucial of all communication skills. As a mother of two teenage boys, I know that it isn't always easy to communicate well with your teen. It's particularly frustrating when they aren't talking to you. However, when I started applying these techniques to our lives, I found that we started getting along better almost immediately. With less arguing between us,our relationship became stronger.

1. Make Your Teen Your Focus
Give your teens your full attention. I know that this is a toughie, because we tend to be so busy. It seems as if we are always multi-tasking. However, it is important in clear communicating that you make a point of stopping what you are doing and really listen to your teens (rather than just hearing him). When you give your teens your undivided attention,they will know that you care, because you took the time to listen, thereby increasing the chances that they will listen to you.

2. Get the Details
Hear what your teen is really saying! Teens tend to give terse answers to questions, leaving out details that may be important. It's up to you to be able to get them to open up and draw them into a conversation.

Here is an example:
Teen: "I hate my teacher!"
Parent: "Oh, you don't really mean that!"
Teen: "Yes, I do. I double hate him!"
Parent: "Well, I don't want to hear that kind of talk. I am sure you don't really hate him!"
Teen: "Yes, I do so. I hate all teachers!"
Parent: "Do you think hating your teachers is going to get you a good mark?"

And on and on the arguing goes….

Here’s an alternative:
Teen: "I hate my teacher!"
Parent: "Wow, you don't normally hate anybody. What did he do to get you talking like that?"
Teen: "A couple of kids didn't have their homework finished again today, so he decided to punish all of us by giving us a math test tomorrow!"
Parent: "That doesn't sound very fair!"
Teen: "No, it isn't fair at all. I wanted to go over to Rachel's tonight to hang out and listen to music. Instead I have to study for that stupid test. I am so mad at my teacher! He ruins everything!"
Parent: (Just listening.)

This teen was able to express herself, and she felt validated by her parent.You will notice that the parent didn't argue about the feelings the teen had. The parent listened and was not judgmental. You don't have to agree with your teen’s feelings. You only need to acknowledge them. There is no such thing as a wrong feeling. We can’t help what our teens may feel. We should set limits, however, on behaviors that don’t conform to what we consider to be appropriate behavior. Expressing one's feelings is a healthy thing; although negative expressions of one’s feelings should be avoided, such as screaming or name calling. A good way to avoid this is using time-outs--wait and continue the conversation when everybody has calmed down.

3. Open-Ended Questions
Questions can be crucial to communicating with your teens. Ask questions that they can't answer with only a yes or a no. For example in the above scenario the parent could ask the teen, "What could you do to help your teacher change his mind about the test?"

Teen: "I am not sure. This guy is so stubborn!"
Parent: "What if you talk to him and come up with better ways for him to deal with the kids that aren't doing their homework?"
Teen: "Mmhhh, maybe I could give it a try."

4. Criticize Behavior, Not Your Teen
Moving from the listening to the talking part of communication, your focus shifts. When you want to see a change in your teens’ behavior, using the following structure can be very helpful. “When you______, I feel______, because I need______.” This wording (known as “I“ message) doesn't attack your teens’ personality. Instead it merely talks about an action of theirs that you'd like to change and why.

Here is a scenario you might relate to: The chores were not done. Your teen went out instead. This example does not show the best way of communicating. It is a personal attack and makes statements you may not stick to anyway.

Parent: "You didn't do your chores! You are such a lazy slob! You never do your chores, and I always have to do them for you. Next time you don't do them, I am going to ground you for a week!
Teen: (Feels pretty lousy.)

Now here is an example using the “I” technique:
Parent: "When you didn't do your chores before going out, I felt really mad. We had an agreement about chores being done before going out, and I need you to do your part of the chores, or I am stuck doing them for you.”
Teen: (Thinking.) “I guess that makes sense.”

Remember when you start a sentence with
“You are such and such,” you aren’t
communicating. You are criticizing!

5. Let the Consequence Fit the Action
A fairly big problem that parents run into is looking for suitable punishment for broken rules. However, the penalty applied usually isn't related to the teens’ action. As parents, we need to show our teens that each choice they make has consequences, but the discipline needs to be appropriate. Parents tend to punish their teens by taking away something the adolescent enjoys, for example no TV for a week. Let’s take the earlier example of the chores not being done, such as the laundry left in a heap. It would be more beneficial to the development of your teen if you base the penalty on a natural connection between his action and the punishment. A good way of showing the consequences to his action in this instance would be having him do your laundry as well as hisnext time, since you had to do his this time. When following such a step, you are practicing "silent communication".

This means letting him experience the natural consequences of his actions. This technique speaks louder than any words ever could. It illustrates to all people that they will be held accountable for what they do.As they grow, teens tend to receive more privileges from parents. It is important for them to realize that more responsibility goes along with the extra freedom.

6. Using Descriptive Praise
We all praise our teen sometimes. We tell them, "You are a smart kid.” Perhaps you might say, "You are a good piano player.” We mean well, but unfortunately this kind of praise doesn't bring the desired effect of making your teen feel good about himself. Why is that? It is because what we are doing is evaluating their actions. With this type of praise,we aren’t giving evidence to support our claims, and this makes the praise fall flat and seem empty and unconvincing.We need to describe in detail what they are doing. As your teen recognizes the truth in your words, he can then evaluate his actions and credit himself where he feels the praise has merit.

Here is an example with evaluating praise:
Teen: "Hey, Ma, I got a 90 on my geometry test!"
Parent: "Fantastic! You are a genius!"
Teen: (Thinking) "I wish. I only got it 'cause Paul helped me study. He is the genius."

Here is an example with descriptive praise:
Teen: "Hey, Ma, I got a 90 on my geometry test!"
Parent: "You must be so pleased. You did a lot of studying for that test!"
Teen: (Thinking) "I can really do geometry when I work at it!"

Describing your teens’ action rather then evaluating them with an easy "good" or "great" or labeling them with "slow learner" or "scatterbrain" isn't easy to do at first, because we are all unaccustomed to doing that. However, once you et into the habit of looking carefully at your teen's action and putting into words what you see, you will do it more and more easily and with growing pleasure.Adolescents need the kind of emotional nourishment that will help them become independent, creative thinkers and doers,who aren't looking to others for approval all the time. With this sort of praise, teens will trust themselves, and they won’t need everybody else's opinion to tell them how they are doing.

Another challenging problem concerns when and how we criticize our teens. Instead of pointing out what's wrong with your teen’s actions, try describing what is right followed by what still needs doing.

Example: Your teen hasn't done his laundry yet.
Parent: "How is the laundry coming?
Teen: "I am working on it."
Parent: "I see that you picked up your clothes in your room and in the family room and put it in the hamper. You are half way there."

This parent talks with encouragement, acknowledging what has been done so far, rather then pointing out what hasn't been done yet.

For more helpful information and examples on good communication with your child, I highly recommend a book by Adele

Faber & Elaine Mazlish called How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So They Will Talk, published by Harper, ISBN 0380811960.

There’s a teen version of the book called How to Talk so Teens Will Listen, ISBN 0060741252.

"Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can't poke enough holes in it to drain it dry."
- Alvin Price

Another great place to find stories that support and encourage your Teen is in the Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul book series authored by Mark Victor Hansen and Debbie Reber. Is your Teen troubled and lacks self-esteem? This article is part of the Teenacity 6-part Teen Chat Guide to help Your Teen feel better about himself and have more confidence. Get your copy free of charge at http://www.teenacity.com/parents.htm and/or have your Teen sign up as well at http://www.teenacity.com/!

Kolokium Kembara Pengurusan Kepemimpinan Pendidikan Malaysia-Zon Utara

SEKARANG ini sedang berlangsung Kolokium Kembara Pengurusan Kepemimpinan Pendidikan Malaysia Zon Utara anjuran Kementerian Pendidikan Malaysia dengan kerjasama Persidangan Graduan NPQH Malaysia (PgNPQH). Kolokium ini akan berlangsung selama empat hari bermula dari 25 Jun hingga 28 Jun 2007 di Taiping Golf Resort Kamunting, Taiping. Beberapa kertas kerja akan dibentangkan dalam kolokium tesebut. Di atas pentas sekarang Prof Dato' Dr Hussein Haji Ahmad, pensyarah Institut Pengajian Kepengetuaan, Universiti Malaya sedang membentangkan kertas kerja beliau, "Melestarikan Kepemimpinan Pendidikan". Seramai 250 peserta dari Pulau Pinang, Kedah, Perlis dan Perak menghadiri kolokium yang pertama kali diadakan di Perak. Adalah diharapkan para peserta yang terdiri daripada Penolong Kanan, Penyelia Petang dan graduan NPQH dapat memanfaatkan ilmu dan maklumat terkini tentang pendidikan yang diperoleh di sekolah masing-masing. Selamat berkolokium.

WHAT PRESIDENT NATIONAL FATHERHOOD INITIATIVE SAID

President's Welcome

Dear Friends:The most disturbing social trend of our times is the dramatic increase in fatherlessness in the United States.In 1960, less than 8 million children were living in families where the father was absent. Today the number of children living in father-absent homes stands at 24 million. That means that tonight one out of every three children in America will go to sleep in a home in which their father does not live. While it is at times easy to throw around statistics such as these to make a point, the plain truth of the matter is that for every one of these frightening statistics, there is a child attached to it, and, on average, the consequences of father absence for each of these youngsters are not good. Children who grow up in father-absent homes are significantly more likely to do poorly on almost any measure of child well-being. For example:
Almost 75 percent of American children who grow up in single-parent homes will experience poverty before they turn 11-years-old, compared to only 20 percent for families where there are two parents.
Violent criminals are overwhelmingly males who grew up without fathers, including 72 percent of adolescent murderers and 70 percent of long-term prison inmates.
Children living in father-absent homes are also more likely to be suspended from school, or to drop out; be treated for an emotional or behavioral problem; commit suicide as adolescents; and be victims of child abuse or neglect.The National Fatherhood Initiative, supported by its members, is working to change all this. We serve as a catalyst for engaging America in a public and forthright discussion about the necessity of reversing these trends. NFI encourages and supports family and father-friendly policies, develops national public education campaigns to highlight the importance of fathers in the lives of their children, provides motivation for national and local coalition-building, and provides resources to men to help them be better dads.I extend to you my personal greeting and invitation to support the National Fatherhood Initiative. Ensuring that more children grow up with involved and committed fathers is the best way to ensure that every child has what should be their birthright: a happy and secure childhood.

Roland Warren

President

National Fatherhood Initiative

WHY WOMEN TALK MORE THAN MEN?

WHY Women Talk More Than Men. A husband, looking through the newspaper, came upon a study that said women use more words than men. Excited to prove to his wife his long-held contention that women in general, and his wife in particular, talked too much, he showed her the study results. The report stated: "Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000."His wife thought awhile, then finally she said to her husband, "It's because we have to repeat everything we say."The husband said, "What?"

Do you need a little better communication in your marriage? http://www.allprodad.com/playbook/viewarticle.php?art=62
Date: 2007-06-11

Category: MarriageTranscript: Why Women Talk More Than Men

MAHSURI

Tentang Kecantikan Mahsuri
Muka berseri purnama mengambang
kulitnya licin pauh dilayang
rambut ikal mayang seludang
buyung petani leher jinjang
badan lampai tinggi
betis bunting padi

Ini merupakan wajah Mahsuri yang sebenar
setelah diambil kira daripada wajah generasi ketujuh
Wan Aishah binti Wan Nawawi

SPIDERS' FISHING TECHNIQUES

SOME spiders hunt in even the most unexpected environments. For example, the hunting field of the water-spider Dolomedes is the surface of water. This spider is mostly to be found in shallow places such as marshes and ditches.

The water-spider, which lacks good eyesight, spends most of its time by the side of the water spinning threads and spreading them over its surroundings. These serve two functions at the same time: they are a kind of warning to other spiders, setting the limits of its own territory, and they also form an escape route in the event of unexpected danger.

The spider's most frequently used hunting method is to put four of its legs on the water while the other four hold on to dry land. While doing this, it employs a most clever technique to avoid sinking. The spider covers those of its legs which will go into the water with a water-proof coating by passing them through its fangs. It then approaches the edge of the water. Pushing its body down with great care, it moves on to the surface of the water. It places its fangs and feelers under the water in such a way as not to disturb the surface. It waits for a living creature to approach, with its eyes looking around it and its legs feeling for vibrations in the water. To feed itself, the spider needs to find prey at least the size of the "Golyan" fish.

When the spider is hunting, it stays motionless until the fish comes within 1.5 centimeters of its jaws. Then it suddenly enters the water, catches the fish in its legs, and bites it with its venomous fangs. Then, in order to stop the fish, which is much bigger than it, from dragging it under the water, it immediately turns upside down. The venom quickly takes effect. It not only kills the prey, but also dissolves the prey's internal organs, turning them into a kind of soup and making them easy to digest. When the prey is dead, the spider drags it on to the shore and feeds. (Science and Technology Gorsel Science and Technology Encyclopedia, p. 494, 495)

At this point various questions spring to mind. How did the spider come by that wax which stops it sinking? How did it learn to coat its legs with it against the risk of sinking? How did the spider come by the wax's formula and how did it make it? The spider certainly did not bring about all of these things-each one of which bears the mark of intelligence-of its own volition. Like all other living creatures, this species of spider acts in such an intelligent way, is capable of making such a plan and putting it into practice by inspiration from God. In one of His verses, God states that He gives every creature its own provision:

There is no creature on the earth which is not dependent upon God for its provision. He knows where it lives and where it dies. They are all in a Clear Book. (Surah Hud: 6)

Artikel Harunyahya

University Study Proves Image Consultants Raise Self-Esteem

THE FIRST ever image research study from Central Michigan University, commissioned by the Association of Image Consultants International, shows image consulting services give people more than just a "superficial boost." The image services also raise peoples’ self-esteem.

The purpose of the in-depth international study was to measure the effectiveness of the work of image consultants and the gain experienced by clients from having participated in consultations. A total of 85 clients, representing 18 image consultants in 10 countries, participated in the study.

The research study design was comprised of four components. Volunteer image consultants administered a pre and post survey to measure their clients’ needs before and after the services. The survey approach allowed for collection of data relating to clients’ previous learning about image and personal style, their goal achievement, the perceived value of the consultation, their satisfaction with the consultation, 42 measures of their needs in the areas of appearance, self- image, personal and professional development, and relevant demographic information.

In addition, self-esteem measures were obtained using the Hartman Self Esteem Index®. Sixty-three percent experienced gains in their self-esteem scores, sometimes by an appreciable amount. Other components evaluated in the Index that showed appreciable changes were self-assessment, self-improvement, self-management and internal self-esteem.

In every single case, clients were extremely satisfied with their consultation experience, giving extremely high ratings to their image consultants in all areas queried. In addition, their perception of the value of the sessions to them, personally, was extremely high.

This study validates the work of image consultants as being important not only on a superficial level but also that it has a positive influence on a client’s ability to realise and appreciate his or her own self-worth.

The results of the study also demonstrate that image services have a significant impact on personal and professional development skills which relate to the areas people deem most important in life: self-confidence, career, promotion and performance and interpersonal relationships. It is now evident that the work of image consultants influences both the "inside", as well as the "outside" human element.

The study also showed that image consultants do not have to perform extreme makeovers or work with their clients for years to impact their self-confidence. The average number of sessions in this sample was 2.18 ranging from 1 to 12 hours maximum. Image Consultants make a big difference in a small amount of time!

CUTI: MASA UNTUK MENGUKUH IKATAN KELUARGA

SEKARANG musim cuti sekolah. Saya hanya ada dua pilihan, sama ada untuk terus tinggal di rumah atau membawa ahli keluarga bercuti. Pilihan pertama itu kehendak saya, bukan kehendak isteri dan akan-anak saya. Sebagai orang yang sudah berumur, saya lebih selesa untuk berehat di rumah sahaja setelah penat bekerja. Tetapi jika saya memilih yang pertama ternyata saya berfokuskan diri sendiri. Saya menang tetapi yang lain kalah.Tetapi pilihan kedua adalah pilihan keluarga. Sebagai kepala keluarga saya boleh sahaja menggunakan autoriti saya untuk menetapkan bahawa pilihan saya patut menjadi keutamaan. Tetapi jika itu menjadi pilihan, saya hanya berjaya mententeramkan mulut mereka, tetapi bukan hati mereka.Tetapi saya sebagai salah seorang daripada ahli keluarga, saya turut dimiliki oleh mereka. Di sini saya bukan satu-satunya tetapi sebahagian sahaja. Sekarang keputusan harus ditentukan dengan cara bermesyuarat di mana semua mesti terlibat termasuk anak saya yang berumur 8 tahun itu. Mereka semua adalah ahli mesyuarat keluarga. Oleh kerana melancong itu adalah aktiviti keluarga, maka saya memutuskannya untuk mengikut keputusan ahli syura, iaitu keluarga saya. Bukan sahaja saya, malahan semua ahli keluarga mesti akur dengan keputusan mesyuarat keluarga itu. Ternyata pilihan keluarga yang menang. Cerita saya ini sebagai iktibar kepada semua kaum bapa bahawa kita bukanlah satu-satunya dalam keluarga kita. Ada orang lain yang mesti ambil bahagian, iaitu isteri dan anak-anak kita. Amalan kebiasaan kaum bapa ialah menentukan apa yang mereka mahu dan seterusnya semua ahli keluarga ikut sahaja kemahuan kita. Tapi sudah sampai masanya aktiviti keluarga diputuskan dalam mesyuarat keluarga. Cuti adalah masa yang sesuai untuk mengikat seluruh ahli keluarga. Tying Members of Family By Continuosly Binding. Melancong adalah salah satu daripada aktiviti untuk refresh ikatan itu.

LAPAN JENIS HADIAH UNTUK YANG TERSAYANG

PILIH yang terbaik sahaja sebagai hadiah kepada yang tersayang. Terbaik bukan bererti mahal, tetapi serasi pada mata dan hati. Sejajar dengan idea ikatan yang cuba diketengahkan, di sini saya mencadangkan agar hadiah-hadiah yang mempunyai konsep ikatan dijadikan pemberian istimewa buat yang tersayang. Hadiah-hadiah itu mestilah yang boleh diikatkan, disarungkan, dan dipakaikan kepada pasangan masing-masing. Lapan jenis hadiah yang saya maksudkan ialah tali leher, rantai tangan, jam tangan, rantai leher, anting-anting, bracelet, wristband dan kasut bertali. Sejak tahun 2003, saya telah melayari banyak laman web yang berkaitan dengan item-item tersebut. Antara laman web tersebut, saya amat tertarik dengan corak tali leher yang dimuatkan dalam sebuah laman web yang menjual barangan terpilih tetapi tidak disebutkan dengan nyata sama ada kita boleh menjadi affiliate mereka atau tidak. Syarikat yang maksudkan ialah JUVIO.Kalau melihat laman webnya biasa sahaja, tetapi rupa-rupanya ia menjual item yang cukup mempesona. Tali leher yang dijual lengkap dengan sepasang klip lengan baju dan dimuatkan dalam kotak yang semuanya dipadankan dalam warna sedondon. Sekali atau beberapa kali menatapnya ia tetap menawan. Ini sesuai dengan tema sophistication is now second nature..untuk koleksi pilihannya.

ISLAM DENOUNCES TERRORISM VIDEO

CLICK HERE TO ORDER

ISLAM bermaksud selamat, sejahtera dan aman. Apabila seseorang Islam mengucapkan salam dengan berkata assalamu'alaikum ini bermaksud ia mendoakan keselamatan, kesejahteraan dan keamanan kepada saudaranya. Sebab itu kita yang menerima salam diwajibkan mendokan kembali keselamatan dan kesejahteraan ke atas rakan kita itu. Assalamu 'alaikum ternyata sekali merupakan ucapan terbaik dan yang paling manis yang pernah muncul dari mulut manusia berbanding ucapan yang lain. Ternyata sekali apabila orang Islam lebih kerap bertemu maka semakin kerap ia mendoakan keselamatan ke atas saudara-saudaranya. Islam bukan sahaja memberi jaminan keamanan dan keselamatan kepada penganutnya, tetapi kepada penganut-penganut agama yang lain juga. Sejarah membuktikan betapa minoriti yang non-Islam berada di bawah pemerintahan orang beragama Islam atau dalam lingkungan majoriti muslim, hidupnya tidak pernah terancam. Jiran-jiran tetangga yang beragama Islam ternyata melayannya begitu baik . Tetapi minoriti yang beragama Islam berada di bawah pemerintahan bukan Islam atau majoriti non-Muslim, keadaan sebaliknya berlaku. Mereka tidak pernah berasa aman. Harun Yahya dalam videonya ini cuba memberitahu kita bahawa Islam sebenarnya mencintai perdamaian seperti juga agama-agama samawi yang lain. Jika ada elemen keganasan ia sama sekali tidak ada kaitannya dengan Islam atau mana-mana agama. Keganasan bertitik tolak daripada sikap dan fahaman individu atau sekumpulan individu tertentu yang menyelewengkan agama untuk kepentingan diri dan kumpulan. Tetapi kerana nila setitik habis susu sebelanga.

SEKALI MENGIKAT SELAMANYA MENGIKAT

TEMA dan topik yang saya muatkan dalam blog ini semuanya berkaitan dengan ikatan. Banyak jenis ikatan yang perlu dilalui dalam hidup ini dan semua ikatan itu menuntut satu tanggungjawab untuk menjaganya. Sebagai contoh ikatan persahabatan, ikatan persaudaraan, ikatan kekeluargaan melalui amalan kekeluargaan (family practice), ikatan pertunangan, ikatan perkahwinan, ikatan kejiranan dan ikatan perdamaian. Selain ikatan yang subjektif ini, kita sering melakukan pelbagai aktiviti mengikat (tying) dengan pelbagai tujuan. Tetapi semua ini hanya bermakna jika dilakukan dengan satu objektif murni iaitu untuk sebuah ikatan kasih sayang. Sebab itu saya berpegang kepada falsafah ikat dahulu sebelum pikat. Yang kita ikat ialah sesuatu dan yang yang kita pikat ialah hati. Aktiviti ini boleh dilakukan oleh semua orang dan untuk orang-orang yang disayangi. Seperti isteri mengikat tali leher suami, isteri mengikat tali kasut suami, suami mengalungkan rantai ke leher isteri atau ibu, suami memakaikan gelang ke pergelangan tangan isteri, mengikat simpulan benang oleh adik kepada abang yang dikenali sebagai rakhi dalam tradisi India, dan menyarungkan cincin ke jari manis oleh suami atau anak. Selain itu, saya juga membawa konsep ikatan yang lebih luas iaitu ikatan sesama manusia yang menjadi tuntutan fardu kifayah dan ikatan dengan Tuhan yang menjadi tuntutan fardu 'ain. Tegasnya setiap hari kita tidak dapat lari daripada "mengikat". Sekali kita mengikat, selamanya kita mengikat. Ingat sekali kita cuba melepaskan ikatan itu, Tuhan tak pernah melepaskan ikatan-Nya dengan manusia.

WHAT IS TRUE LOVE?

IS love a combination of what looks good to the eye and makes the heart race? Do you know what defines true love, the kind of love that establishes and promotes a fulfiling, lifelong marriage? Here are some basic ingredients of true love. True love requires basically three elements: chemistry, compatibility and commitment (3C). Based on Dr Love's research, a couple should experince several progressive stages to sustain and perpetuate true love.Let's see what they are and how you can put this insightful knowledge to good use in your marriage. Any marriage will inevitably face challenges. Most of them are normal-predictable and common to all mariages, provided you allow for differences between genders, cultures, ethnicities and genetics.To assume that some marriages are free from challenges is to misunderstand basic human difeferences, not only because men and women differ dramatically but also because there are varying physiological and psychological factors within each gender. Many couples assume that once they fall in love they will remain enthralled forever, with no work involved. True marital love is not a once-done, permanent thing. I is a growing, living and unfolding jouney throuhgout one's natural life.No marriage can be truly happy without attentive sacrifice and service by both the husband and wife. Some people give up on an otherwise potentially good relationship only to discover that the very same weaknesses that contributed to the first breakup show up in later marriages. The moment one person positively changes his or her part of relationship, the entire relationship changes. Still, both mates must make positive changes to grow a happy marriage. Your marriage is not much different from others. All marriages have good and bad times. There is no perfect marriage, but every marriage can be "perfected" a little each day-and it will, if both mates sensitively contribute to the marriage relationship.